| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2008|07:42 pm] |
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| | apathetic | ] |
I bet i know what you're going to do next and it dissapoints me that you dont want to learn.
Maybe i'll be proven wrong. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2008|02:27 am] |
This bleeding heart, whose wound was sewn
Battered and bruised, nursed to clean health
Whose heartstrings are attached, intertwined with thine
Who in times of weakness pumps fresh blood in my veins
In times of need rejuvenates my soul
Suddenly falters with poison
This weak heart pumps desperately
Holding on to its lifeline
It slowly infects
It slowly digests
Eats away at the foundations
The love that supports
I desperately claw
For breath, my vision blurred
My grasps.. weak.
My gasps... strong
I realise how much i need you
But...
I realise why I love you. I see so much potential in you, and I want to be there when you realise them. I want to stoke the flames of your passion, guide you in your darkness, push your limits, realise your true inner strengths.
I know you are a loving devoted person. A strong willed, determined person. Because in the depths of your heart, I see that shining proud girl standing deep inside. I see that loving person when you look at me and smile, hold me so tight yet delicate at the same time, as if you were afraid i'd break into pieces, yet firmly enough to not let me slide out of your grasp. I see your passion. I see the flame. And I admire all of it.
Yet, that girl hides in the shadows, like the mischevous shadow that evades the light.
I reach out and try to pull her out...
She is just out of reach.
Trust.
Your words i used to hold with its weight in gold
Words I accepted faithfully
Words I used to trust undoubtedly.
Now I dont even know what to believe anymore.
Too many times.
Too many times.
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 15th, 2008|02:23 am] |
I sit watching, as bit by bit, the sandcastle we built is being eroded.
Do u notice ?
I watch and see if you do.
Maybe you'll sit up and notice how its being chipped away by your own doing.
I'll just wait, look and see. |
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| exasperation |
[Aug. 26th, 2008|06:27 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHGHGHGH #*&%(&@%*(@&%(*&*(@&%#()%*#*%@*% %(*$(*&^(@ no seriously
*%#&(@&%(%( ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH |
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| Here's to the night |
[Aug. 24th, 2008|11:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | melancholy | ] |
A song that sums up what I'm feeling tonight.
It's so good that i'm blessed with good friends and a good family. I could have never asked for better. Maybe I could have done more with the opportunities that have fallen on my lap, but whats passed is past.
And for tonight, I reminesce of the good old times.
Of dear old friends and mischevious pranks, of laughter and familiar faces,
Of places and situations, of cheers and tears
This, I dedicate to the people in my life.
The funny and the loyal
Who knew that a night of names and familiar shared faces could conjur up such nostalgia. And lately, good old friends have caught up with me, a brief light exchange yet so full of history. These are the people you know forever. The kind u never talk to for years yet within a minute it feels like just yesterday we last spoke.
I'd never trade my life experiences for anything in the world.
If ever i were to become some super rich person.. IF ever, I'd rent out a big apartment somewhere and just fly in everyone thats made my life so colorful, rich and full of laughter.
Here's a song to you guys and gals. A familiar old song, for a familiar old friend.
Here's To The Night - Eve 6
So denied so I lied are you the now or never kind
In a day and a day love I'm gonna be gone for good again
Are you willing to be had are you cool with just tonight
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Put your name on the line along with place and time
Wanna stay not to go I wanna ditch the logical
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
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| numbed |
[Jul. 25th, 2008|11:04 am] |
It is to you again here I turn to.
It saddens me that it had to happen this way. We had something great. We had something wonderful.
It broke because of a stupid argument. The pain is numbed by the scarring. It will probably hit full force sometime soon and I find solace in nothing.
I miss you.
You're angry at me and I'm devastated by you.
And so lays broken on this pink sheets where it all started with a kiss.
Love knows no stronger pain then the realisation its lost its other half. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 14th, 2007|05:51 am] |
Of late, it has come to my attention that being appreciated is a very rare thing. Somehow maybe I exude this aura of "we dont have to really appreciate song jun".
Or maybe im just giving all my cares to people who dont know how to appreciate me at all.
I've always wondered if ever something happened to me and I ended up in a hospital .. who would visit me. Who would stay and comfort/cheer/accompany me while i lie there. I wonder if ever i just died the next day, would anyone but my parents and close relatives even shed a tear at my funeral. Would they even bother attending.
Would anyone actually go.. hey.. i miss having that guy around.
Maybe thats why sometimes i'd rather sit by myself and enjoy the solitude of a good book and the company of a bowl of food then carry on with mindless meaningless chatter.
But then again.. i am a creature of many contradictions. |
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| God of wine. |
[Feb. 22nd, 2007|09:03 pm] |
Every thought that I repent,
There's another chip you haven't spent,
And you're cashing them all in, Where do we begin.
To get clean again,
Can we get clean again.
I walk home alone with you,
And the mood you're born into,
Sometimes you let me in,
And I take it on the chin. I can't get clean again.
I want to know,
Can we get clean again,
The God of Wine comes crashing through,
The headlights of a car that took you farther
than you thought you'd ever want to go,
We can't get back again,
We can't get back again,
She takes a drink and then she waits,
The alcohol it permeates.
And soon the cells give way,
And cancels out the day,
I can't keep it all together,
I know...I can't keep it all together,
And the syren's song that is your madness,
Holds a truth I can't erase,
All alone on your face,
Every glamorous sunrise,
Throws the planets out of line,
A star sign out of whack A fraudulent zodiac.
And the God of Wine is crouched down in my room,
You let me down,
I said it, Now I'm going down,
And you're not even around.
And I said no...
I can't keep it all together,
I know...I can't keep it all together,
And there's a memory of a window,
Looking through
I see you.
Searching for something,
I could never give you,
And there's someone who understands you,
More than I do.
A sadness I can't erase.
All alone on your face.
Third Eye Blind - God of wine.
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| Epiphany |
[Feb. 5th, 2007|01:59 am] |
It has dawned on me what kind of person you are. I was blind and stupid to think that you're really a different person inside.
I think all my kindness and thoughtfulness has been wasted on an individual such as you. She was right about you, how selfish you really are. She always was right about evaluating people.
And now, i think i know what i should do. Although its going to be difficult for me to do it, i am going to show u how it is the way you are and were to me. Its high time that u realise and appreciate what i am to you.
After this is done with, dont expect me to be there for you anymore.
You can go on fawning over that guy you adore so much, who doesnt give two pieces of shit for you.
Its time that i should get properly angry and hurt over what you did. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2006|02:06 am] |
This romeo is bleeding, you cant see his blood.
Its nothing but some feelings , that this old dog kicked up
Its been raining since u left me, now im drowning in the flood
See i've always been a fighter, but without you i give up.
I cant sing a love song like the way it was meant to be
Well i guess im not that good anymore, but baby thats just me
Yet i will love you, baby. Always.
Would you stop his bleeding? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 6th, 2006|03:50 pm] |
Sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh. This sucks.
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I
Daniel Beddingfield
If you're not the one. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 26th, 2006|04:02 am] |
Everything You Want"
Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return
[Chorus]
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say
[Chorus]
But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for
Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return
[Chorus]
I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 23rd, 2006|01:20 am] |
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Wish it was you and me, staring at the sun.. watching it set till we're done. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 15th, 2006|05:38 am] |
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Im just so fucking stupid. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 11th, 2006|12:34 am] |
This is to you, if you're reading this.
I just want you to tell me whats on your mind, and in your heart.
I dont care what i will feel like at what i hear, i'm beyond that. I want to help you, know why you're acting this way. So distant. Of all people you could confide in, its me. I know what you've gone thru, even cried with you. I know of those little secrets you told me to never tell anyone.
What happens to us i have put as separate, because i know you're facing something bigger then that. Any other reasons, why you suddenly went your way, closed the door and shut me out totally, i may want to know, but its your perogative to tell me if you want. If you decided that you didnt want me anymore, at least tell me what was it that made u feel that way. Was it someone better? Or did i do or not do something?
I was a very caring friend to you first, before I fell for you. You know that, remember i walked with you to get your keys back, always enquired how u were. You know i've always cared a lot about you, knowing that whenever there was something wrong , i wanted to know about it.
So, tell me, whats going on in your mind. I can help you , and i will try my best.
Don't just shut me out like that. U know i've always been a good listener, and never the one to spill anything to anyone.
My heart loves you for many reasons. And it aches to see you like this. I can sense and see that there's something inside you thats tormenting you.
Let me be part of the solution. Even if i'm the problem, or one of the problem. I promise i'll do anything within my power to bring back a smile to you.
That huge smile that shined like a million suns. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 8th, 2006|09:46 pm] |
What's going on in that complicated mind of yours
I wish i knew what you were thinking.
The silence breaks my heart. The coldness burns this dead soul.
I just wish i knew something.
I just wish you'd let me do something. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 8th, 2006|01:20 pm] |
Time seems to move so slowly. Sigh
Yet too fast also at the same time.
If u get my meaning.
Missing you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|01:03 am] |
Listening to the strumming of the guitar
Following the lights as they pulse along to the music, so beautifully co-ordinated in this smoke filled place.
The raw mettalic sound of string. Feels so raw.
Pulsing bass, and drunken haze.
I wonder whats going on in your mind.
Old piano.. i think its time to revisit you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|12:55 am] |
Practise tommorrow. A much needed distraction
I love being immersed in music while i drum away my sorrows.
I don't regret being human actually, pain and sorrow are actually the best kind of muse. They bring out that emotional twang.
Happiness i guess is good too. But Happy songs bring about different beat.
I'm marching to this sorrowful beat now.
But it feels good to have emotions.
Emo boi i am. |
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